Chapter III

In which Josh becomes old, receives visitors and gains an admirer.

It has happened. I’ve finally turned twenty-one; it’s all downhill from here. Nevertheless, aside from the obviously unpleasant aspects of aging a year, I managed to have a quite excellent Birthday Weekend, even making it out on both of my “Firthdays” (fake birthdays necessitated by the fact that my actual birthday fell on a Sunday). Mumsie and Daddikins came to visit with the brother in tow, which was absolutely lovely and made the weekend a lot nicer (plus much English food was brought, which was marvellous – REAL PESTO!).

Fortunately I didn’t end up needing to drink alone on my “bidet” (as Joe charmingly referred to it), having made friends quickly enough. The fam arrived on Friday after my Thursday Firthday and I took them on a little tour of town and the Campus. This was largely a parroting of the tour we were given earlier in the week, but they seemed to enjoy it and the day ended with a highly enjoyable meal at the Bitsburger Wirtshaus, a fabulous restaurant in a beautiful building with excellent local fare. I introduced Mumsie to Viez, and needless to say, she wasn’t enamoured of it. We went our separate ways afterwards and Ollie and I watched American Psycho and went to bed, Oliver in a little nest I made for him in my under-the-bed drawer.

 Satuday dawned and we had a little family excursion out to Koblenz, visiting the Altstadt, das deutsche Eck, where the Mosel meets the Rhein, and doing a little shopping. We had a jolly nice Currywurst each for lunch and had a lovely drink at a little bar in the Altstadt, where Mum tried the local Federweißer (a wine picked very early, which is very cloudy and tastes like juice), which she obviously could not get enough of. That evening Ollie accompanied me and the Essex girls out for a night on the town, which ended in Club Elf again (God knows why). It was actually a jolly good night, and Oliver quite humorously nearly got into a fight because he doesn’t speak German, so Isabella and I made an intimidating wall in front him and saw off the aggressor. Due to the experience, Oliver has learnt a new German phrase: “Hau ab!” (“Clear off”).

Having slept for about three hours, we were taken to Mum and Dad’s hotel for a champagne breakfast, which Oliver couldn’t face (meaning Mum and I had two massive glasses each) and I became drunk again. I opened my cards and presents in their room whilst Oliver slowly drifted off and started talking rubbish in his sleep. I now have plenty of champers (to go with the “Birthday Boy” champagne flute from Bonn the girls gave me). We spent the day shuttling from café to café in a most agreeable, civilised way, wandering round town a bit more. For dinner we returned to my favourite Trier restaurant, the Bitburger Wirtshaus, where I had my first Spätzle (German potato noodles) and plenty to drink, before finishing off the night at the street bar in the Hauptmarkt with plenty of bubbly.

Since my Birthday it’s mostly been lessons and admin (or rather, the second half of lessons, as I’m an arts student and can’t cope with 9 o’clock starts, which everyone finds endlessly entertaining). However, I seem to have acquired a bit of an admirer in English Tim from Manchester, who’s developed a bit of a man-crush. He’s very fond of my name: “Josh Boooooth!” and decided to reword Hey Jude, which became “Josh Booth”. Sadly I wasn’t even present in the karaoke bar to witness the spectacle, but apparently the clientele were suitably baffled. God Save the Queen received the same treatment the other day. Tim’s actually really very fond of karaoke and has actually organised his timetable for the semester around the karaoke night. He’s hilarious and has come out with some absolute pearlers, including declaring in class (whilst I was still a-bed), in aswer to the question “what would you do if you were a millionaire?” (subjunctive practice), that he would “do hard drugs with Josh Booth”. I’ve ceased to be surprised at the things he comes out with, having been asked yesterday if he could borrow some of my clothes to go as me on Hallowe’en: “I just need to dress like a lord”. It’s very sweet, but I’m at a bit of a loss as to what I’ve done to deserve the adulation.